All posts by Rosamund

I am technically a dowager, though my son Rufus, the fourth earl, is not yet married. I love the country, it's very peaceful here. I am surrounded by photographs of my past. On the piano I have a photograph of myself dancing with David, the Prince of Wales - later of course Edward the Eighth and subsequent Duke of Windsor.

Panting Slit

How to fight a crocodile/bison/manticore.

Go for the eyes everytime

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Sloughy Stump

Imagine my embarassment on Saturday 13th when Horatio and I returned from Africa to see the village full of homeless people.

After a few hasty phone calls to the local constabulary we realised it was a scarecrow festival.I wondered why the neighbours were looking at Horatio strangely when he ran one of the buggers through with his cavalry sword.

Meat Slipper

And hugely so to you all, today I witnessed an act of anarcho dandyism whilst excercising the ocelot, a magnificent display of brolly jousting.

I thought Arthur Smeg was thrashing around in the bushes trying to free himself when I saw he was actually beating a homeless drunk with his brolly.

Good show Arthur, keep those types in Dinnington and Maltby where they tend to blend a little easier with the track suited locals.

Huzzah!