Category Archives: Sport

Surface Crust

Here is a picture of the Firbeck Wrestling team, good show chaps.

They are also doubling as the neighbourhood watch team.



Bulbous Vulva

I often watch seriously hardcore porn in the afternoon, would any couples who have a similar interest like to join me, leave a message and ill get back to you.

Helen Bach

Miss Diane

The Firbeck Bear wrestling team have won a silver medal in the Kodiak National Games.

Well done ladies, Im sure your tankards will be full when you get back to Firbeck.


Dripping Quim

Finalists for the Sexually Attracted to Sheep contest need to be at the village hall at 8:00am on Saturday morning.

I am told there are some real stunners at the show this year.

Peregrine Tibia-Thrall from Letwell is showing Tallulah “The Slag” Fluffy Hind, who is always a crowd pleaser, she is such a tarty little ewe.

I cannot wait, if youhave a sexy little lamb to show, contact Julie Cocklick before Friday.

Smashing Dumplings

Last night saw the final of the lard eating contest and what a night it was, the hall was packed to the rafters which was great to see.

The winner was Firbeck resident James Puddle with 27 blocks of lard consumed in record time, well done.

You will be able to congratulate James in the pub this Saturday as he had to be rushed off to hospital minutes after the final.


Unfortunately the Firbeck Reptile club has disbanded after 12 years of warm bloodied fun, Jim would like to thank all members past and present and would like to take this opportunity to invite them all for a drink in the pub on Saturday night.

He also has 2 bearded dragons and 4 gekos needing a new home if anyone is interested.

A bloody disgrace

Not a lot to say about The Firbeck Strollers appalling show on the soccer pitch this Saturday, god only knows what happened but an 18-0 defeat is akin to a rugby score.

Hopefully next weeks game will be better, I fail to see how it can be any worse.

Well done to the oppostion, the Crumpton Ironworks AFC, must have been their easiest game ever, I am seriously reconsidering supplying the half time oranges after such a lacklustre effort.