All posts by Mycroft

Living proof of the inherent superiority of England's upper classes. A thousand years of breeding distilled into one, eminently superior being. I am better than you, by an extremely long chalk and thats all I'm telling you, you unctious little oik.

A bloody disgrace

Not a lot to say about The Firbeck Strollers appalling show on the soccer pitch this Saturday, god only knows what happened but an 18-0 defeat is akin to a rugby score.

Hopefully next weeks game will be better, I fail to see how it can be any worse.

Well done to the oppostion, the Crumpton Ironworks AFC, must have been their easiest game ever, I am seriously reconsidering supplying the half time oranges after such a lacklustre effort.

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Little slap

Never bite the hand that feeds you is what I told young Josh at the toddler group when the little oik bit me.

Needless to say it caused a stir in the village hall, I reprimanded the little chap and had a stern word with his feckless mother, needless to say Josh’s father is no longer in my employ.

This is a good lesson in idioms for everyone.

Recent break in at the Hall

Be on your guard (even the poor folk) as a group of bounders tried to rob me in my own home whilst  Mrs Gally-Knight and I slept soundly in our beds.

Luckily, two of our servants who where walking the grounds heard a commotion and alerted the household, the buggers got away but not before we loosed the dogs.  Local hospitals have been alerted as there was a fair amount of blood near the West gate.

You’ll be pleased to know the servants were docked a weeks pay and  flogged for fraternizing.