Mutton Fist

Big laughs lately at one’s club and the House of Lords bar at the never ending fun we have manipulating you working class scums. Worried that your general lack of personal hygiene might lead to an outbreak of something unpleasant and costly for the NHS, we decided to popularise the act of washing once again under the guise of it being called “The Ice-bucket challenge”.

Not only has this “gone viral” whatever that means, it has spread to other, equally stupid people around the world. A substantial amount of money has also been raised for one’s drinking and munitions fund under the guise of it being a “charitable donation”, not to mention that the act of bathing in ice cold water will help acclimatise the participants for conditions in the workhouses we plan to introduce as soon as we win the next election.



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