Dirty Potato

This letter arrived at the office today:

Dear Firbeck Canard, What’s happening to my body? I am thirteen and a half and I have begun to notice changes in me and in my feelings to others. What does it mean? Yours, Slightly Puzzled

Dear Slightly Puzzled, Pull the other one. You know perfectly well what’s happening inside you, you just want me to write a reply that includes the word ‘genitals’ so you can have a good dirty giggle over it. I only deal with genuine problems here. If it’s smut you want, read “Flag”


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