A number of reports have come to our attention regarding twisted going ons at Firbeck Zoo.
Recently whilst walking along the bridle path with Madeline Clout, sweet firm girl that she is, we noticed creatures that would have Darwin scratching his head, at first we put it down to the water supply but when I saw this:
Both Madeline, sweet firm girl and I realised something Mengelesque was afoot at the zoo.
We reported this to the relevant authorities and a number of arrests have been made.
We later found 20 more “Ian’s” and butchered the godless creatures, the meat is on sale at John McGash Butchers on New Road, tastes a bit like chicken Ive been told.