Greasy Snatch

It has come to the council’s attention that a number of residents have started to shop at discount supermarkets, although this isnt a real issue (if you want to eat inferior crap thats up to you) but, entering the village with one of these store’s carrier bags has become an issue.

Big Eddie, landlord of the Virgins’ Hymen pub had to bar 3 people last week for perusing through the Aldi weekly offers leaflet (the shame).

As a short term fix, Waitrose carrier bags are avaiable at the village hall to hide your shopping embarrassment when out in public.

Next week at the council meeting, the horrors of Primark will be discussed.